That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
