My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
