So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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