Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
