you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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