i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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