Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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