Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize