I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
