I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
