Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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