i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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