carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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