whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Couch. On fire.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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