Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize