That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize