whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
