Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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