After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
