i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
