i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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