respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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