The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
