Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
