Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
