Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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