I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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