I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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