I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
