i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
