Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
