Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?