98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.