Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The uberlube is also flammable
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.