Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone