Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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