Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
