i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
