Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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