Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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