how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize