No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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