Your face is a jimmy john
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just puked most of my soul out..
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