people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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