More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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