I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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