If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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