Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
