So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
