No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
