So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
