Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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