We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
