Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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