you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
