with your own penis?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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