i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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