they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
