Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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