dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
