You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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