why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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