I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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