We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
