He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
