I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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