she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
