So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
