i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize