she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
