If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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