i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
