Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
