I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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